Dear Younger Me

To be honest when I was younger than I am today I thought my childhood was the worst time of my life. When I was younger I was what you call DIFFERENT than a lot of people. Why? Cause I was born that way. I was born with Autism. Now, I am gonna tell you some stories of my life that had a MAYJOR impact on my life today.

Growing up I didn’t fit in with a lot of people who I went to school with. I was easy target that a lot of people started to pick on me because I was so different. At that time I brushed it off because the kids were stupid back then (trust me they were). Then just like that 6th grade came along. The bullying got worse. I was still and easy target because a lot of people couldn’t handle that I was different that they bullied me instead. The bullying was so bad that I started to suffer with depression. I was so depressed around that time that it led to suicidal thoughts.

I never attempted to take my life and I’m glad that I didn’t. But I realized when I got older that being different isn’t a bad thing but a good thing. Nobody will ever be perfect and we weren’t made that way.

Dear 6th grade me: Don’t ever let people get to you. You are stronger than you think you are. Being different is always a good thing and you don’t have to be 100% perfect. You will have a lot of friends when you get older that will except you and you already have friends now that already do. And one more thing. Stop trying to fit in all the time.

Music can be really powerful. I’ve pretty much have been listening to a lot of different types of music all my life. But there is one song that I’ve known since I was very little that will always be close to my heart. Man! I Feel Like A Woman by Shania Twain. You probably wonder why this song means so much to me. Because it was my cousin Karyna’s favorite song. Me and Karyna were very close growing up. I’ve known her since birth but we aren’t blood related.

During that time Karyna was diagnosed with cancer. A brain tumor. She died in 2004 and she was only 7 years old (I was already 8 at the time). When I hear that song I sometime feel like I’m about to cry cause that song just brings up so many memories. I wish she is still here but I know that she is in a better place.

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Dear 8-year-old me: I know it’s been a tough end of the year but I just want to say something. You will get to see her again soon. Just think about all of the happy times that you had with her before she passed. And always keep that song close to your heart. Always.

A lot of things have impacted my life but I only wanted to share a few with you. If you are struggling with something just know that you can conquer it because you are stronger than it (not the clown lol). Just remember that life is temporary so live life to the fullest.

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